phenomenal.

Phenomenal woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.

I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size

But when I start to tell them,

They think I'm telling lies.

I say,

It's in the reach of my arms

The span of my hips,

The stride of my step,

The curl of my lips.

I'm a woman

Phenomenally.

Phenomenal woman,

That's me.

fall on your knees

bienvenu

Welcome =]

Her rules

1. She's not writing to please you.

2. If you're ~~NOT~~ happy, please look at rule #1.

3. Negative comments, please write them in your notepad, and put it in the trash.

ENJOY!

Thursday, August 18, 2011 @ 8:48 AM

My solution to anything: Sleep

Correction: my temporary solution to anything: Sleep

Sleep was just gonna give me another extra 8 hours. I've deluded myself to thinking that sleep would have gave me a chance to hid myself under the blanket and forget about all the toubles revolving. Freud would have said I'm regressing back to the stage of an infant. Oh well. Regression apparently protects your subconscious and whatever.

In the end, I was haunted by dream after dream. I was trying to explain something to people and they just don't understand- even if I repeated. Tells so much about what I was facing in reality. (Freud would have really given me the, "see? I knew it" look)

In reality, this was what happened: (my version, perhaps)

Was feeling miserable and utterly alone. Facing the four walls.

Was hoping for some comforting words.

Tried to explain the hundreds and thousands emotions and thoughts rushing through me all at once (women's syndrome)

It came to a point where my statements become more and more misunderstood.

Was just trying to say, "I feel bad. I need you. If only you could just throw the "convenience" idea away and come and see me even once. Cause I need someone beside me badly."

*If only = a wishful thinking that is not a "force"

mental image : some nameless guy traveling MILES to find his loved ones.

Reply received: "Then can I ask you to travel back to Simei, then come and meet me, then travel back to NTU when you have school?"

That was the point when I think my message was not understood. So I shut up. To prevent further damage. (This is kind of a men's style. Think I've got it from my mom)

Then, I was launched into a tirade of :

1. How hard working life is, and I'm just studying

2. That it was a super hard time

So I felt worse. Felt like some selfish bitch. He feels bad, and it's making me feel worse. Because these things are running in my head:

1. It hurts me to see you having such a difficult time.

2. But didn't I do whatever I can to support you? Make you feel better? Try to make your life easier?

3. What about me? I'm not having a great time too! I'm in a total strange environment and struggling to cope. Every other day is a bad day for me. Or rather, most days.

So I concluded: Even when I need you badly, I can't say it. Because you are having a hard time and I will be selfish if I said more. I will create more problems for you if I said more and that is selfish.

And then you hanged up. So that's the end of story.