a NON EGO post.


really exhausted.

Projects after projects. Sjab event after Sjab events.

Seem to drag myself around. Don't even know where did my energy came from. I just end up going through my daily routine. wondering whether i can do the same the next day.

I wished that i've got a shoulder to lie on.
Than I realized, that you vanished.
And I have to stand on my own.
Facing the world so tarnished,
with a lonely bitter tone.


Suddenly so inspired. hahas.


who will sense a tinge of sadness in that laugh? or the trace of bitterness?


when i thought i was cured, corrinne may's songs just bring out old wounds. Hahas. the worst thing is, i feel nothing when I saw him. No attachment, no more intensity, no disgust, no hate, no love. Instead, i hate myself. i wonder why.

I hate myself for being so weak.
I hate myself for missing him.
I hate myself for remembering the memories.
I hate myself for trusting him.
I hate myself for relying on him.
I hate myself for being so stupid.
I hate myself for feeling guilty when I am too busy to think of him.
I hate myself for trying to put salt on my wounds by trying to imagine him with another girl so that I can forget about him.
I hate myself. for being a ninny.


Hahas. women speak contradictorily. NOW i know why. hahas.

There were times when you've got hurt so many times over and over again, that you feel numb. That you don't care anymore.

There were times you feel that you will die because of the pain you feel in your heart.

But its the past. It will never happen again.


20th may is coming. will you remember? will you remember me? I've planned 8 months ago to speak that sentence you've been waiting to hear. But i shall throw it away. I won't need it again.

Let's hope the both of us will forget 20th. ALL the 20ths.


I shall keep myself busy. =] I'm a supergirl remember?

GAWD!!! LONG TIME no this kinda pouring out stuff anymore. I'm PMS-ING AGAIN!!! CRAP.

I don't think staying busy is a DIFFICULT task.